a sad reply

It been a long time since I last updated my blog. I have something which I hope to get off my chest so that I would not feel so sad.

Been waiting a reply from this person since Tuesday. And today I got her reply. Got a shock at first because at that timing she was not at her office anymore. Anyway, open the email and read. Everything was fine till I read this part: "I will be on leave for the next three months". My heart really sank when I read this part. She would not be my side for the next three months and maybe even after that. Ties with her was quite close. At least I know that she would be there when I need someone. Memories with her start flashing through my mind. From the very beginning, where we were totally stranger to where there would be laughter heard and both of us disturbing each other, it's a long route down.

Soon, I need to adapt life without her by my side

today i feel abondoned by someone

Is been a long time since I updated my blog. Seriously, I am just lazy to update. Lazy lazy bum

Today, I seriously feel abondoned by someone whom I know for one year plus. Really feel very very sad. Cried during my journey home. Feel like hurting myself again..

Pressure is building up each day and if one day if I cannot take the pressure anymore, I guess I just give up everything in this world, find a building and jump off.

holiday is here

Woohoo, my school holiday is finally here, though is like two weeks only before I go for my internship but nevertheless I am going to enjoy these two weeks. Suddenly, feel so hyper and relieved.

Anyway, went to play badminton with darling yesterday and I almost kana knocked down by one stupid car. But partially I was my fault also because I was jaywalking. I was standing on the middle of the road since is a two way road. Then because alot of cars is passing on my left hand side, so cannot crossed the road. Then suddenly, this car turned out from the carpark and his/her side mirror hitted my back. I was shocked at that moment because the driver of the car saw me,yet he/she still turned out of the carpark. Maybe he/she think that the car can pass through. But given the angle, is a bit impossible. Haha, anyway, I was glad the words (of being the first person to die on someone) didn't come true.

I passed my SSM

As the title says, I passed 60% of my SSM. Damn happy now ok. Though is like only a D and not really a good grade, I felt very happy already. Because I failed my proficiency test 1. Hopefully I will get a good grade for the rest of the 40 %.. Yes I am sure I will.

going through a down period

Because of you I am crying my heart out.
I felt hurt and sad by what you have done
Not getting the support that I thought you will give me
Instead all I get was blaming
Have you ever thought what cause to be like that
Have you ever go and find out the real reason
Maybe I was wrong about you at the first place

feelings

你最近不说话
怎麽了为什麽
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱有点慌

this really describes my feeling now.. I really feel very confused as well as worried and scared. I really scared that I will failed my SSM. Memories of the past keep flowing through my mind these few days.Maybe I not that strong as I thought I am. Maybe I really need that concern.

tired

Im really tired to the max man.. Been doing projects since the start of school holiday and ever since didn't get much sleep. I couldnt take it anymore le and there is a feeling of giving up. But I just going to endure and survive this period.

Hopefully I will be able to get a good rest after all these projects